When a woman becomes the Messiah, the commandments will be different: do not litter, do not snore, do not smoke.

When in a family conflict, a man, ask the question: “Do you want to be right or happy?”

Women benefit and when they do not come: teeth clean, shaved smoothly, you sleep in bed.

Old age — you bend down to tie your shoelaces and think: what else would you do here.

When a woman becomes the Messiah, the commandments will be different: do not litter, do not snore, do not smoke.

When I buy an armored train, I’ll pick a few addresses … so, just say hello.

A dream is a desire for which there is not enough money.

The best age is when the nonsense has already passed, and marasmus has not yet begun.

“Man is born for happiness, like a bird for flight!” — say penguins to ostriches.

Many men, having fallen in love with a dimple on the cheek, marry all over the body.

If a person is talented, then he is talented in everything …. Idiots also.

The truth is served as a coat is served, and not thrown in the face like a wet towel.

After a week’s hunger strike, the lion recognized that the king of beasts is the watchman of the zoo.

Good men have one drawback — they are always with some women.

Do not judge a woman by kilograms, but you will not judge by centimeters!

Well, we will not disturb you = Nobody is going to help you.

Love your wife — your source of knowledge about human shortcomings.

Feminism — up to the first decent man.
Communism is up to the first personal capital.
Atheism — before the first shaking in flight.

Nothing so invigorates the morning, how to oversleep.

I’m not sure — do not hug!

“There is no limit to my perfection!”, Thinks the monkey, looking at the man.

Predicting earthquakes and weather is strongly helped by the word “in places”.

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